Dear Me......Love, Me :)

The best thing that that I have liked about myself in this lifetime is to be able to see two sides of a situation perfectly well. Its like I can look at myself doing what I am and watch how my alter ego comes to my rescue. Its so cool when you can be your own guardian angel. I remember how in one of my posts I mentioned the importance of being with oneself at the right time and I am glad am able to execute this thought so well. 

I think we all need a ‘Soul Armour’ today, to say one's trust has been broken and feel bad about it has become a thing of the stone-age era.  So am picking my own armour to safeguard me, for the times that I know I need to be that tad bit stronger. I hereby promise myself that I will be there for me, because at the end of the day its all about how you see yourself. 

I am a woman with a plan and have learnt that the most important things in life don't just include being desired by people who make you happy but also include how you know to make yourself happy. So I've lived almost a quarter of my life and have been through the much acclaimed ‘Quarter Life Crisis’ through the trial and error method and I feel happy about the fact that I keep getting better at testing myself.

I guess its a Gemini thing, or maybe just a me thing! I hope we all find our sole-soul armours and probably life would be a tad bit more cushiony! Cheers! J

Don't look back in anger I remembered you say...

You learn to walk on the left side of the pedestrian crossing, once a charred memory comes into play.
Embers of  time whisking you by their side and again they lead to the incandescent dreams in the dark.  Get up, walk and don't look back.

Was it the world or was it you? Fought much? Smashed. Get up, walk and don't look back.

Conversations laced with the truth of wine drops, frail but honest. Shared much? Now hollow. Get up, walk and don't look back.

And you were here, but you were there, Deja vu much? Reality bites. Get up, walk and don't look back.

Saline promises always made to revive, dehydrated much? Shrunken desires. Get up, walk and don't look back.

Stumble again and one more time, remembered again in this lifetime? Keep that faith. Don't look back in anger, I remembered you say.

That Soul, My Dream Catcher...

We all are imperfect so is he, a tribute to a heartless memory this post be...
Destiny and Karma go hand in hand, this time boy you goofed up bad...
Thy Love's forbidden, thy love's so true, it hurts now baby to be with you...

I can't get enough of this trance...you're a vivid reality I would never want to pass...
But you're like a story read one chapter at a time, if I could go on I would write you, to never let you be the end of that book...
I live you in the state between my dreams and senses, this is how it actually looks...

Let my love unfurl as much...now that its a one sided story its pretty much cursed...
I've tasted your soul, you've tasted my blood, we lived together and shared so much...
Be my soul catcher will you now? Fade away in the eternal light with me?
Pray lets make a reality of the lost memory and guide me back to where I should be...


- The White Owl Lover

Its Thanksgiving Day...

I believe that nothing really dies instantly...it fades away. It needs to fade away so that it can be gotten over with permanently. Last year has been so awesomely and in certain places tragically crazy. Its funny for someone who always had a thought to pen down fell short of words to express. I guess it happened so as they were the most epic moments of my life.

Okay just to let you know, this blog is nothing to do with an expression of remorse in any form. Its my self made thanksgiving day today and I want to take this moment to remember it all. I truly feel evolved as a better being on today's date. I am happier, even better focussed and so much more full of life. I think I've finally found my comfort zone of people that keep me going in spite of the odds.

At a point when my world was being guided by pretty random decisions I was pretty surprised to realise that they were exactly the things that I always wanted to achieve. With every passing year its a check on my bucket list and its truly an awesome feeling.

There so many things waiting to be realised in the next coming years, and am I raring to make it awesome in my own signature style.

Now the important part, certain times you will be reminded of a memory or more about your past. Plausible it is, as we humans love thinking about whats gone by us and whats coming next rather than living in the moment.

So, what do we do? Well,I won't suggest to not live in the past, make sure a part of you does, you know that's where all your gathered wisdom stems from. Let a small part of you belong in there to remind you of what better you can do or are doing for whatever purpose you have in life.

Dream a bit about your future, I believe that long term thinking matters as well, coz if you don't dream you don't really live.

Finally let a major part of you live for the day. When you are around people, see, observe, interact. Feel the moment well and at night when you're back on your comfy beds think about your other world where its only you and thoughts you are waiting to make happen.

Right now Iam looking forward to 'going with the flow'- a very wise guy told me this once. He happens to be the love of my life and I love the way that every time I am shrouded by some mysterious problem (which appears to be more the anticipatory bit of things going wrong rather than they actually happening) this mantra comes to my rescue. So yes I am and will continue to follow it. Make my world a better place and well If I happen to know you or influence you in any way I hope i can pass it on to you as well.

Happy Thanksgiving to yourself folks...I hope each of us makes it big in whatever ventures we have in mind. 2012 is waiting to happen so MAKE IT HAPPEN!

God Speed.

With Love- Your alter ego.

Phew! I finally managed to get down and put forth my thoughts.I have realized something off late I am not motivated enough to write, something which I loved doing at one point of time. This is very sad indeed, as putting forth words to express myself is something I need to do as thats where I locate my comfort zone and I'd have to admit that I am pretty uncomfortable off late.

Yeah so whats it this time that I want to share, I ask this to myself and then a completely contradictory statement stems up, Do I actually want to share it or I can live with it and possibly push it to the darkest corner of my head, you're running away and avoiding stuff a part of me says that. Okay, hang on I have thought about issues and what it could take from my end to reform it and if it doesn't work out that ways I step aside and start things afresh. The point being my stepping aside won't help me eventually, one truth I've realized is that after a point of time there will be a relapse of situations, statements and emotions. I need a kind of a new freedom that stems from someone making the effort to come and step inside and be a part of this world that I have created for myself after a lot of changes in it in the construction phase. I don't find a craving anymore in me to go out there and make and effort to make things happen. I wonder what happened to the insanity and the passion that once thrived in me. I am taking a chill for things working out, those who'd make their effort are most welcome to be a part of this world, my world where I am me, in my purest form of mind and emotion. I ask myself at times am I ready enough to be there all for myself and forget people whos lives are deeply entwined with mine, I hear my selfish alter ego whispering,sure you are as long as you know they will there standing in the corner where you'd be leaving them, waiting for you hoping against all odds that you will be back for them someday. Then another side goes on to say sweetheart you know you can't live with the guilt of hurting an innocent soul, so stop and be there. Okay so its decided I can play fair,I take some I give some. That ways I don't live with any regrets ever.

So what am I doing next? Guess I'd just be gallavanting to the nearby store and drop in for a read and get myself a nice cuppa coffee, cheers to a totally unplanned life! :)

Welcome to my playground.....be sure to follow the teeny rules, we dont want anyone to get hurt...do we now? ;)

This space has been empty for too long now.....I have possibly collected and refreshed what I've wanted to post for a zillion times already....the wine of thoughts is being preserved in the cellar of grey matter....

Things are ready to hit the right place...watch out for this space, let this shadow be your guide,if you're planning to catch this thought,Let me tell you i have never been able to catch mine and I guess thats what makes my life awesome and me unique in my own eyes....Iam the Summer fish and you're the trout...

I've never felt so free in life and ready to take things I reckon from my perspective in one go....Iam prepared now....If you have a perspective to share you're most welcome, if you want to be judgmental you're on the wrong page sweetheart....

I love playing with alphabets and words, cause I express my world best that ways.....Want me to express further? Well....We all can Wait and Watch out.....I promise you I wont disappoint.....

The Summer Fish Returns and shes gonna love you like never before.....XOXO

IF WE EVER MEET AGAIN........

Found myself raking a few memories whilst listening to my daily play list, now its weird alright cause i could laugh and cry at the same time. Mixed Emotions yes they are, at the same time it helped me get a reality check. One more miscalculated risk taken, and now I realize it has a very grim chance of success. I have seen the special people in my life change time and again,and now I realize its probably cause I always chose to be way too honest with them.Crime does not pay and the truth well it makes you pay these days.

Between emotions and ego I prefer to choose the former, I have one life that I am aware of right now and I want to live it in the most possibly satisfied way not regretting to have kept back what I always wanted to say or do. However there comes a situation in life when if things go wrong between two people, it requires an equal effort to set it right again. Staying quiet, not airing ones opinion, faking, or hiding the truth are simply catalysts to worsen such a kind of situation. Its strange these days how apparent FRIENDS turn out to be FOES in disguise, and its highly painful when people you care for quietly appreciate such losers and feel their hands are tied to speak up and stop whats wrong.

At the end of it all its what one could want, which would stay with you, the hollowness of a namesake friendship or something that was genuine, but just tangled up in misunderstandings, its like that li'l game we play with so many strings tangled up in both our hands, it looks horribly complicated but then we just need to pull one string and alls sorted out. Too bad its a situation I am going through in real life, yes my hands are tied and I even tried approaching someone to set things straight, someone who even though Iam not in touch with anymore still makes a vast amount of difference to me. I have tried my best but like I said earlier, truth these days needs to be justified, at the end of all this I know I have been pushed to various limits of maintaining my sanity, and I have borne it all patiently. Its high time i stop doing this cause every time I have for the people i cared for they have disappointed me by seeing my take as a cause of strife.

I realize what I gave was too much and so Iam taking it back with all my dignity of having proved myself innocent time and again. For the rest of the lot they can very well keep their love for ego and fake people in each of their pockets and forget the genuine ones, cause yes its never going to be easy living with both together. Time has always stood as a testimony for whats true, I know this will be proved in the right sense to all, but maybe it will be too late to undo whats done.

So to all my special people I take my leave from your lives, cause I have always felt suffocated with the hypocrites around us and now i can see the special people turning out to be too. Iam tired of fighting them all alone, anyway be happy, God Bless and if destiny ever gets us to meet again in spite of our trying never to it will probably answer the most thought question of why it happened the way it did and maybe deep down for some or the other reason we'd both miss each other......but then as i said IF WE EVER MEET AGAIN.....