I ushered the year 2009 like any normal new year, life was smooth....mom and dad and the rest of the family seemed content, i was at peace with the way everything was proceeding......my relations with my bf had been stable for 5 years now...i had made a few good friends from my hometown at college.....and studies was going well too. I always pondered over the fact when people said it only takes a second for things to get screwed up,little did i know i'd be a victim of this prophesy at the wink of my eye.....now in this perfect scenario things really dont look as if they could be messed. Well time flew....I was busy preparing for my college fest sometime towards the end of January. Things seemed cool...i was glad to find a bunch of great friends.....they really made cal seem heaven amidst other trash! one normal day....on the 2nd of Feb. I got a call from a girl....somebody whom i didnt know,but what she said was about to change my whole course of life ..... i was told that my bf had been dating her for tha last 3 mnths,in short i was being double timed! You'd get the drift by now.....i had my first break up....and it was SHITTY!!!! My fairytale world came to an end, i had loads of questions down my mind...the most prominent one being why me???? when i gave my 100% to it!!!
And yes.....a solemn promise made by me then onwards....this feeling...of LOVEEE well....it sucks, and iam not putting myself through this shit anymore!!!! My friends, i realized i had been ignoring them for a while....they came to my rescue...absolutely angels all of them!!!! Thank You God.....even today i take this moment to tell you this.....and you made me realize the importance of people, they are there with us till we actually need them and should they have to go You always send somebody to take care of us. It had been just 2 days since my breakup and a very close friend who probably thought i was really helpless then, proposed to me, its sad when close friends do that, instead of being your support they end up being a pain in your ass!!! I dont know what my fault here was again......as i lost out on this friend all because i never considered him that ways in my life!!
The next blow......well my grandmom suddenly fell sick she had a massive attack and was in a critical state!!! i rushed home wondering during my 4 hour journey why all these things were happening to me only. To top my worries my semesters were starting in da next 20 days!! Sloppy sad life!! I was becoming bitter, negative, freaking out......and oh so close to that break down!!! I had a break down when i reached home!!! The next few days were hard......i spoke very less,hardly ate and was lost somewhere even i dont know!! i sat for hours in my garden looking at the flowers....they were sooo bright and colourful....how i wished i could get the lost colours of my life back from them!!! I was actually SADD!!! That was soooo....not meeee!!! I wanted to run away somewhere, was desperately seeking the calmer me back!!!! This Disturbia had to stop.....i needed to reclaim my sanity!!! These Demons had to goooooo!!!
Time......yes its a great healer if you choose to be honest with yourself, accept reality and have your family and good friends around you even the crappiest of things can be gulped down!!! Slowly.....i began a new journey once i saw things were starting to turn fine, my grandmas health returning that being the foremost good news!!! I got back to my studies really couldnt get them to suffer for a loser!! I made even more new friends, good mature people who were luckily from my hometown again....i started hanging out with them frequently......i slowly realized that being single wasnt that bad, my ex had always curbed me from doing stuff that made me happy, i did that now and i was slowly enjoying this state!!! I realized that i was actually missing out on the best things in life!!! And now My Happy Hours had begun!! No puns here!! :)
Ok.....now something very unexpected happened....i had suddenly begun to enjoy some-buddys company!!! I actually looked forward to see this good chum!! I was unable to believe my reactions to this guy!! I actually trusted him...and his goodness....as though God had decided all this from before, how we were to meet, and how things would develop, though weird as it is, iam not in touch anymore with the person who got us to meet. Occasionally my subconscious mind was like Sonya....gal get a grip on yourself , you just cant start looking forward to stuff, plus what about what you had to go through in the past......do you really think he'd be worth the risk, and you'd give this feeling another chance????
Around the month of October i realized something, 'IT' had happened to me again, i had become concerned for somebody again......now this was scary, i forced myself to stop thinking....But no......Stupid Cupid had already played Robin Hood with my heart!!! The best part being all along i thought it was one sided, all from my end, later i get to know.....oks....sparks were flying from both sides!!
And yes i did fall in love again!! I am finally dating that somebody special today!! When i look back it feels dreamy, but yes i know i've lived through it all......the tears and the laughter!!! I've seen me maturing, now iam stronger, the vulnerability factor has largely reduced, my priorities have been decided and i stick to them at any cost. I know that apart from mom and dad theres somebody who genuinely cares for me, iam grateful for that, but i choose to be independent now, and most importantly now I control me and nobody else does!!
I still dream of good things that i'd want to do in future......but only with the mindset that nothing lasts forever and things may change, and if they do......i will be prepared henceforth!!!!
Thanks to all of you....for the good and the bad times!!! Coz ultimately whatever happened did for the better, and it was The Masters Will!!!! nothing beats that!!
