I ushered the year 2009 like any normal new year, life was smooth....mom and dad and the rest of the family seemed content, i was at peace with the way everything was proceeding......my relations with my bf had been stable for 5 years now...i had made a few good friends from my hometown at college.....and studies was going well too. I always pondered over the fact when people said it only takes a second for things to get screwed up,little did i know i'd be a victim of this prophesy at the wink of my eye.....now in this perfect scenario things really dont look as if they could be messed. Well time flew....I was busy preparing for my college fest sometime towards the end of January. Things seemed cool...i was glad to find a bunch of great friends.....they really made cal seem heaven amidst other trash! one normal day....on the 2nd of Feb. I got a call from a girl....somebody whom i didnt know,but what she said was about to change my whole course of life ..... i was told that my bf had been dating her for tha last 3 mnths,in short i was being double timed! You'd get the drift by now.....i had my first break up....and it was SHITTY!!!! My fairytale world came to an end, i had loads of questions down my mind...the most prominent one being why me???? when i gave my 100% to it!!!
And yes.....a solemn promise made by me then onwards....this feeling...of LOVEEE well....it sucks, and iam not putting myself through this shit anymore!!!! My friends, i realized i had been ignoring them for a while....they came to my rescue...absolutely angels all of them!!!! Thank You God.....even today i take this moment to tell you this.....and you made me realize the importance of people, they are there with us till we actually need them and should they have to go You always send somebody to take care of us. It had been just 2 days since my breakup and a very close friend who probably thought i was really helpless then, proposed to me, its sad when close friends do that, instead of being your support they end up being a pain in your ass!!! I dont know what my fault here was again......as i lost out on this friend all because i never considered him that ways in my life!!
The next blow......well my grandmom suddenly fell sick she had a massive attack and was in a critical state!!! i rushed home wondering during my 4 hour journey why all these things were happening to me only. To top my worries my semesters were starting in da next 20 days!! Sloppy sad life!! I was becoming bitter, negative, freaking out......and oh so close to that break down!!! I had a break down when i reached home!!! The next few days were hard......i spoke very less,hardly ate and was lost somewhere even i dont know!! i sat for hours in my garden looking at the flowers....they were sooo bright and colourful....how i wished i could get the lost colours of my life back from them!!! I was actually SADD!!! That was soooo....not meeee!!! I wanted to run away somewhere, was desperately seeking the calmer me back!!!! This Disturbia had to stop.....i needed to reclaim my sanity!!! These Demons had to goooooo!!!
Time......yes its a great healer if you choose to be honest with yourself, accept reality and have your family and good friends around you even the crappiest of things can be gulped down!!! Slowly.....i began a new journey once i saw things were starting to turn fine, my grandmas health returning that being the foremost good news!!! I got back to my studies really couldnt get them to suffer for a loser!! I made even more new friends, good mature people who were luckily from my hometown again....i started hanging out with them frequently......i slowly realized that being single wasnt that bad, my ex had always curbed me from doing stuff that made me happy, i did that now and i was slowly enjoying this state!!! I realized that i was actually missing out on the best things in life!!! And now My Happy Hours had begun!! No puns here!! :)
Ok.....now something very unexpected happened....i had suddenly begun to enjoy some-buddys company!!! I actually looked forward to see this good chum!! I was unable to believe my reactions to this guy!! I actually trusted him...and his goodness....as though God had decided all this from before, how we were to meet, and how things would develop, though weird as it is, iam not in touch anymore with the person who got us to meet. Occasionally my subconscious mind was like Sonya....gal get a grip on yourself , you just cant start looking forward to stuff, plus what about what you had to go through in the past......do you really think he'd be worth the risk, and you'd give this feeling another chance????
Around the month of October i realized something, 'IT' had happened to me again, i had become concerned for somebody again......now this was scary, i forced myself to stop thinking....But no......Stupid Cupid had already played Robin Hood with my heart!!! The best part being all along i thought it was one sided, all from my end, later i get to know.....oks....sparks were flying from both sides!!
And yes i did fall in love again!! I am finally dating that somebody special today!! When i look back it feels dreamy, but yes i know i've lived through it all......the tears and the laughter!!! I've seen me maturing, now iam stronger, the vulnerability factor has largely reduced, my priorities have been decided and i stick to them at any cost. I know that apart from mom and dad theres somebody who genuinely cares for me, iam grateful for that, but i choose to be independent now, and most importantly now I control me and nobody else does!!
I still dream of good things that i'd want to do in future......but only with the mindset that nothing lasts forever and things may change, and if they do......i will be prepared henceforth!!!!
Thanks to all of you....for the good and the bad times!!! Coz ultimately whatever happened did for the better, and it was The Masters Will!!!! nothing beats that!!
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Thursday, May 7, 2009
......And There Was Just A Minute Left!!!!
My friend Sushant loves to go home from Calcutta every alternate week.I don't blame him though, for all those who hail from jamshedpur experience the bliss of heaven out there. However the moment you leave this city all seems so different. It becomes very obvious that "You Are Not At Home".
Inspired from this really tempting habit of his, another good friend of mine Bitsy, and I made a very sudden plan to go home-"Our Beloved Jamshedpur". So we three were supposed to board Gitanjali Express, which departs at 2pm from Howrah station. Since it was a sudden decision, we were to get our tickets an hour before the departure. On the day of my journey to home Bitsy and I left for the station with the usual estimation of time. All went fine when I suddenly get a call from sushant and he informs us that owing to elections certain roads were jammed with the traffic, so it would be better if we took a ferry ride all the way from this place called babughat, to the coast near the station. The suggestion was good.......but came in late. On asking the cab driver where we were he informed us that we were on Vivekanada street, Oops......Bitsy and I looked at each other in dismay, Bitsy said" Uh.....Sonya wasn't this the same route we were told not to take???" My heart started to race.....i checked out the time.....it was 1:25pm....train left at 2pm. I set the alarm for 1:45......and made a rough estimation.....if we would get to Howrah bridge by that time we'd probably make it!!!! Bitsy and I were literally straining our necks to see whether the traffic had started to budge......It did but just a bit.....and then came a screeching halt!!!!
Okay for a second i was like wtf is this happening to me right now.....but on second thoughts this seemed so much fun!!!! like some mini adventure!!!! So i started listening to Greenday......Wake me up when septemer ends!!! of course here it was the traffic jam!! :P.... I relaxed....Bitsy still looked somewhat tensed.......and both our thoughts were punctuated by sushant's calls......every 2 mins and he went like...."Where are you guys???"The traffic slowly started to clear.......my excitement increased and i looked at the time.....it was nearin 1:40, Well.....what do you know.....we're on howrah bridge.....and it was 1:42.......we asked the driver to step on it!!!! and we reached the station sharp at 1:45. There went my alarm......sushant called again..... we told him......we're there.....Mr. long legs.....took a hop and a skip.....and he lands beside us!!!! Luckily he had filled in the reservation slip......so bitsy rushed to the ticket counter......took our tickets......i paid for the cab......it was 1:55 nw, and we ran a marathon down the platform.......huffing and puffing.....pushing people......we reached finally!!! Yay......we patted our backs.........and heaved a sigh of relief.......it was awesome fun.......and when we checked out the time it was just a minute to go!!!! :D
Inspired from this really tempting habit of his, another good friend of mine Bitsy, and I made a very sudden plan to go home-"Our Beloved Jamshedpur". So we three were supposed to board Gitanjali Express, which departs at 2pm from Howrah station. Since it was a sudden decision, we were to get our tickets an hour before the departure. On the day of my journey to home Bitsy and I left for the station with the usual estimation of time. All went fine when I suddenly get a call from sushant and he informs us that owing to elections certain roads were jammed with the traffic, so it would be better if we took a ferry ride all the way from this place called babughat, to the coast near the station. The suggestion was good.......but came in late. On asking the cab driver where we were he informed us that we were on Vivekanada street, Oops......Bitsy and I looked at each other in dismay, Bitsy said" Uh.....Sonya wasn't this the same route we were told not to take???" My heart started to race.....i checked out the time.....it was 1:25pm....train left at 2pm. I set the alarm for 1:45......and made a rough estimation.....if we would get to Howrah bridge by that time we'd probably make it!!!! Bitsy and I were literally straining our necks to see whether the traffic had started to budge......It did but just a bit.....and then came a screeching halt!!!!
Okay for a second i was like wtf is this happening to me right now.....but on second thoughts this seemed so much fun!!!! like some mini adventure!!!! So i started listening to Greenday......Wake me up when septemer ends!!! of course here it was the traffic jam!! :P.... I relaxed....Bitsy still looked somewhat tensed.......and both our thoughts were punctuated by sushant's calls......every 2 mins and he went like...."Where are you guys???"The traffic slowly started to clear.......my excitement increased and i looked at the time.....it was nearin 1:40, Well.....what do you know.....we're on howrah bridge.....and it was 1:42.......we asked the driver to step on it!!!! and we reached the station sharp at 1:45. There went my alarm......sushant called again..... we told him......we're there.....Mr. long legs.....took a hop and a skip.....and he lands beside us!!!! Luckily he had filled in the reservation slip......so bitsy rushed to the ticket counter......took our tickets......i paid for the cab......it was 1:55 nw, and we ran a marathon down the platform.......huffing and puffing.....pushing people......we reached finally!!! Yay......we patted our backs.........and heaved a sigh of relief.......it was awesome fun.......and when we checked out the time it was just a minute to go!!!! :D
Friday, May 1, 2009
Promises are "NOT" meant to be broken.....
Rose was the only child of her parents Mr.and Mrs.Brown.Her father was the pilot of the Jet airplane Boeing-737 and her mother was basically a homemaker who whiled away her time teaching the less privileged embroidery and the art of making soft toys,while Rose was at school.
Rose was a happy-go-lucky girl who in spite of being given all that she ever needed or wished for never took anything for granted.She was beautiful, hardworking, honest and managed to bag the top position in academics too.
One day during the bright summer mornings,Mr.and Mrs.Brown were having tea in the shade of the emerald trees in their garden,as they watched Rose playing.Mr.Brown seemed to be very pleased and content with the view surrounding him.His face puckered with a faint smile.Suddenly Rose came charging"Daddy,Daddy.....do come and play with me!!"
Mr.Brown took her in his arms and said,"My darling Rose.....do you know something?"."What daddy?"."Do you know that you are the best daughter in the whole world?"."Oh.....Yes, and daddy, you and mummy are the best daddy and mummy in the whole world now c'mon and lets go to play".Mr.Brown burst into laughter and looked at his wife and said Jennifer..... Iam telling you today,that she'll definetly grow up to be a lady of substance,and will make us proud one day.
Mrs.Brown smiled hopefully.The very next moment Mr.Brown plucked a rose flower from his garden and fixed it in his daughters beautiful tresses.He smiled and said ,"A rose for my Rose", and was immediately returned a million dollar smile from his daughter.
The stream of time continued to flow and Rose finished her schooling.Mr.Brown was busier than usual in his work and Mrs.Brown was always there to cheer everyone's spirits.One fateful day as Rose was helping her mother cook,they received some unwelcome news.Mr.Brown was seriously injured as his flight was landing at the airport.One of the main exhaust fans stopped working as he was landing,owing to which the aircraft burst into flames in midair.
Mrs.Brown and Rose were bewildered and they rushed to the hospital.Seeing the charred body of Mr.Brown in the I.C.U.Mrs.Brown broke down.Rose stiffened in terror and couldn't believe that this man was none but her own daddy,who was always there to cheer her, comfort her, and correct her if she ever made a slip.This was her brave and strong father who was now reduced to nothing beyond a frail and almost lifeless body.The doctors had given up hope on his survival.Rose and Mrs.Brown begged the doctors to allow them to speak to Mr.Brown one last time.Mr.Brown spoke weakly and slowly with great pain.He said,"Rose.....I will not survive this test and it is up to you to take care of yourself and mother.Be brave.....and promise me that you will succeed in life no matter what".Rose broke down and said..."Daddy.....we love you and need you .....don't leave us."Iam always there with you and i promise i will , forever....."and with this the chapter in Mr.Brown's life was over.
Rose and Mrs.Brown were in deep pain.It seemed as if sadness had chosen to live with them forever.Rose remembered the last wish of her beloved father.She vowed that she would also become a pilot and that too no ordinary one.She received full support from her mother, and she worked hard.She completed her education in aviation with distinction and was recruited by the faculty of 'Singapore Airlines' as a pilot.Her mother was proud and happy for her daughter and she missed her husband's presence.Rose was a brave girl and comforted her mother.Then she went to her room and took out the picture of her dear daddy from under her pillow and said..."Look daddy I've made mummy proud and happy.I wish you were here,how i miss you.....!!"and with this she quietly sobbed and fell asleep.
The next morning when Rose woke up she saw a rose kept on her side table.She remembered how her daddy used to give her roses but it was all over now.So she angrily went up to her mother and asked her who kept the rose beside her.Her mother didn't know anything about it.Suddenly Rose remembered her father's last words,"I'l always be there with you.....I promise."
Rose was a happy-go-lucky girl who in spite of being given all that she ever needed or wished for never took anything for granted.She was beautiful, hardworking, honest and managed to bag the top position in academics too.
One day during the bright summer mornings,Mr.and Mrs.Brown were having tea in the shade of the emerald trees in their garden,as they watched Rose playing.Mr.Brown seemed to be very pleased and content with the view surrounding him.His face puckered with a faint smile.Suddenly Rose came charging"Daddy,Daddy.....do come and play with me!!"
Mr.Brown took her in his arms and said,"My darling Rose.....do you know something?"."What daddy?"."Do you know that you are the best daughter in the whole world?"."Oh.....Yes, and daddy, you and mummy are the best daddy and mummy in the whole world now c'mon and lets go to play".Mr.Brown burst into laughter and looked at his wife and said Jennifer..... Iam telling you today,that she'll definetly grow up to be a lady of substance,and will make us proud one day.
Mrs.Brown smiled hopefully.The very next moment Mr.Brown plucked a rose flower from his garden and fixed it in his daughters beautiful tresses.He smiled and said ,"A rose for my Rose", and was immediately returned a million dollar smile from his daughter.
The stream of time continued to flow and Rose finished her schooling.Mr.Brown was busier than usual in his work and Mrs.Brown was always there to cheer everyone's spirits.One fateful day as Rose was helping her mother cook,they received some unwelcome news.Mr.Brown was seriously injured as his flight was landing at the airport.One of the main exhaust fans stopped working as he was landing,owing to which the aircraft burst into flames in midair.
Mrs.Brown and Rose were bewildered and they rushed to the hospital.Seeing the charred body of Mr.Brown in the I.C.U.Mrs.Brown broke down.Rose stiffened in terror and couldn't believe that this man was none but her own daddy,who was always there to cheer her, comfort her, and correct her if she ever made a slip.This was her brave and strong father who was now reduced to nothing beyond a frail and almost lifeless body.The doctors had given up hope on his survival.Rose and Mrs.Brown begged the doctors to allow them to speak to Mr.Brown one last time.Mr.Brown spoke weakly and slowly with great pain.He said,"Rose.....I will not survive this test and it is up to you to take care of yourself and mother.Be brave.....and promise me that you will succeed in life no matter what".Rose broke down and said..."Daddy.....we love you and need you .....don't leave us."Iam always there with you and i promise i will , forever....."and with this the chapter in Mr.Brown's life was over.
Rose and Mrs.Brown were in deep pain.It seemed as if sadness had chosen to live with them forever.Rose remembered the last wish of her beloved father.She vowed that she would also become a pilot and that too no ordinary one.She received full support from her mother, and she worked hard.She completed her education in aviation with distinction and was recruited by the faculty of 'Singapore Airlines' as a pilot.Her mother was proud and happy for her daughter and she missed her husband's presence.Rose was a brave girl and comforted her mother.Then she went to her room and took out the picture of her dear daddy from under her pillow and said..."Look daddy I've made mummy proud and happy.I wish you were here,how i miss you.....!!"and with this she quietly sobbed and fell asleep.
The next morning when Rose woke up she saw a rose kept on her side table.She remembered how her daddy used to give her roses but it was all over now.So she angrily went up to her mother and asked her who kept the rose beside her.Her mother didn't know anything about it.Suddenly Rose remembered her father's last words,"I'l always be there with you.....I promise."
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